Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
