Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
false alarm, still single
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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