I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
