I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
