Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
