Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Drake has all the answers
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Congratulations! We have a period
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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