i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
