He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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