i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize