then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
