I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
