I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
