I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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