forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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