what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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