what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
