Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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