I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
