so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
