There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
