i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
