yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
