so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
