HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
soo... how was my night?
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