she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
