Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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