"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
