I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
