how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
