Only a mothe r could love this liver
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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