.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
