saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
