Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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