My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
