Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I DEMAND FORESKIN
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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