How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize