i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
