Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize