I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
