Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
