He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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