we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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