She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
