Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
