Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
