Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize