i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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