i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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