Kiss
Puke
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
