It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize