i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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