am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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