his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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