Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My liver just had a heart attack.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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