You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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