You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
