girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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