i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
