check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
