i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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