Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
