Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
