So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
