Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
