Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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