the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
