Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
