so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
