There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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