I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
